Become a more Confident Leader in 5 steps

In my experience working in the public service, I have worked with a lot of leaders of varying degrees of effectiveness. Something I have noticed about women leaders is they often come across as less confident. Appearing to need to justify their position or opinions and working 10 times harder to make sure they are prepared for meetings, presentations or the regular grillings we receive from the government about our actions.

Confidence is a cornerstone of effective leadership. It inspires trust, respect, and followership. But I am a firm believer that confidence is not going to be handed to you by anyone else. So how can you cultivate confidence in yourself? Below I have outlined 5 steps to help you become a more confident leader:

1. Know Thyself

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Being confident is about understanding the value that you bring to the situation. Once you know your value, you can be more confident in what you say or do in the workplace. You will also be more confident when you ask questions, have nothing to contribute or take longer than expected to deliver a task.

Self-awareness is the foundation of confidence. It is important that you understand your strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. This knowledge will empower you to make informed decisions, communicate authentically, and navigate challenges with greater ease. Knowing your strengths and values gives you confidence to speak up, share your opinion or disagree with others. Understanding your weaknesses and beliefs allows you to continue to learn, set realistic expectations and react proactively when your beliefs are questioned. Understanding this will provide you with the insight as to what value you will bring in different scenarios. For example, you are leading a small team of experts, but your strengths lie elsewhere. You do not need to be an expert as well but instead provide direction as a leader and leverage the different expertise of the team to achieve results.

So how do you increase your self-awareness and discover your value? One effective way to increase self-awareness is through introspection. Spend time reflecting on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Consider keeping a journal to document your experiences and insights.

Additionally, seek feedback from trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends. Their perspectives can provide valuable insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. Just remember that feedback is subjective, and you don’t have to take on everything that someone says. Analyse any feedback you receive and only consider what is helpful and relevant to you at the time. Otherwise, you can become overwhelmed and anxious with other people’s opinions.

Harvard Business Review found that men are more likely to receive actionable feedback whereas women receive feedback that is less useful for skill development or leadership progression, regardless of which gender is giving the feedback. For example, men were told to develop and display confidence in specific skillsets while women were told to “be more confident”. Sounds familiar right? While they found that all of the feedback was generally positive, nice words will not support you to develop as a leader so I recommend asking for actionable feedback when it is provided.

2. Set Clear Goals

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Having clear goals provides a sense of direction and purpose. When you know where you're going, it's easier to stay focused, motivated, and confident. Break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps to track your progress and celebrate your successes.

When setting goals, ensure they are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). This framework will help you create goals that are meaningful and actionable. For example, instead of a vague goal like "I want to be a better leader," set a specific goal such as "I will lead a successful team project by the end of the quarter." If you have good self-awareness, you will know what goals are important to you and can set them based on your weaknesses, values or ambition. Share these goals with your boss, include in any performance discussions or agreements and tell them clearly how they can help you achieve this goal through training or opportunities.

Being clear also applies to the goals and direction you set for/with your team as well. As Brené Brown says

“Clear is Kind. Unclear is Unkind”.

Be mindful that you don’t get stuck on one goal and miss other opportunities though. Regularly review and adjust your goals as needed. Your priorities and circumstances may change over time, and it's important to adapt your goals accordingly.

3. Continuously Learn and Grow

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Personal and professional development are essential for building confidence. Keep a growth mindset and be open to learning from a diverse range of people. Stay curious, seek out new opportunities to learn, and invest in your education. This will help you feel more prepared and capable in your leadership role.

There are many ways to continue learning and growing as a leader. Consider taking courses, attending conferences, reading books, or joining professional organisations. You can also seek out mentors who can provide guidance and support. Working with people with a diverse range of skills, knowledge and experiences is a great opportunity to continue to learn from others. Don’t dismiss other people’s points of view because of their age, rank or level of experience. Being open to the opinions and ideas of everyone on the team not only makes you a supportive leader, but there is also a lot to learn from working with others.

Don't be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things. Challenging yourself can help you develop new skills and increase your confidence.

4. Practice Effective Communication

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Clear and concise communication is crucial for building relationships and inspiring trust. Practice active listening, speak with confidence, and be mindful of your body language. Effective communication can help you convey your message effectively and build credibility.

Active listening involves paying full attention to the speaker, understanding their perspective, and responding thoughtfully. Avoid interrupting, maintain eye contact, and use nonverbal cues to show that you are engaged in the conversation. This is also a great way to build rapport with your team.

When speaking, be clear, concise, and articulate. Avoid using jargon or technical terms that may confuse your audience. Use a strong, assertive tone of voice and maintain good posture and don’t be afraid to say that you don’t know an answer. Better to tell people you will get back to them than to go silent or make something up.

Pay attention to your body language, as it can send powerful messages to others. Maintain eye contact, smile, and use open gestures. Avoid crossing your arms, putting your hands on your head or slouching, as these can convey disinterest, arrogance or defensiveness.

It is important to remember though that communication with your team is a compromise. Be upfront with them as to your preferred communication style but be open to adjusting to their preferred style where necessary. For example, I have had a staff member tell me they feel micromanaged when they receive a written direction in an email. We discussed that I like to write follow up emails to our discussions, so we are both on the same page and I have a point of reference if I forget deadlines I have issued. That way I won’t accidently bring the deadline forward or bother them for an outcome too early. Together we decided that including the meeting notes in the original meeting invite was a great way to reduce the emails they were sent but have a joint point of reference from our discussion. Additionally, this gave us an opportunity to talk boundaries and expectations between the two of us.

5. Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity

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Failure is a natural part of the learning process. Instead of fearing it, embrace failure as an opportunity to grow and develop. Learn from your mistakes, analyse what went wrong, and use that knowledge to improve your future decisions. Remember, every setback is a chance to become stronger and more resilient.

When you fail, be accountable but avoid blaming yourself or others. Instead, focus on identifying the root cause of the problem and developing strategies to prevent it from happening again. It's also important to seek feedback from others to gain a different perspective on the situation but remember to ask for tangible advice.

Failure can be difficult to manage in a toxic work environment. While you may not have the influence to change organisational culture, having a positive and proactive response to failure will help you stand out as a leader for those around you.

Remember, failure is not a reflection of your worth as a leader. It is simply a learning experience. By embracing failure and using it as a catalyst for growth, you can become a more confident and resilient leader.

In addition to these five steps, here are some additional tips for building confidence:

Practice self-care. Take care of your physical and mental health. Get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly.
Find your tribe. Find the time to talk with people outside of your team who support and encourage you. Leadership can be a lonely journey.
Celebrate successes. Acknowledge and reward accomplishments, no matter how small. This will help you build a sense of accomplishment, boost your confidence and team morale.

Remember, building confidence takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. Pick one of these areas to focus on initially rather than falling into overwhelm. By consistently working on your self-improvement, you can develop the confidence you need to succeed as a leader.